WhatThe Fuck?
by KikoTsukinamura
Summary: I don't even know. The title is there because I don't even know what to call this. Let's see... This drabble is from a thing I saw on YouTube called The Gypsy Bard (parody) by Ashestoashesjc and I only own the genderbent versions of John, Dave, Jade, and Rose. Enjoy !


Ha ha. Listen to [MLP/Homestuck] The Gypsy Bard (parody)【Ashe】to get this. Or I should put the lyrics on here. Either way'll work. :D Original lyrics will be in italics while changes to it will be in italics/parentheses. (Also, I'm adding something in that isn't in the comments to make this as humorous as possible because...I'm fed up with Angst.)

* * *

_~When you're (obviously fucking devastated), there's a long ass explanation~_

"How the fuck do you explain this, Egbert?" A familiar blond cursed at the blue-eyed hero. Well, to be fair, the blond did have a reason to curse unreasonably at the raven because of the specific thing that was on his screen right around now.

The blue-eyed raven shrugged as he stood, claiming to never have seen it before...before he saw the title. His baby blue eyes sparkled. "Oh hey! The creator replied!" The raven labeled Egbert sung like a canary as he swiftly took the blond's former place.

"John, oh my fucking god, how do you even get signal outside the fucking universe?" The blond face palmed at the sentence, or the response should I say. A simple shrug was all the knight had gotten.

"I don't really know, but I was bored yesterday...Or whatever day ago. Can't really tell when you're out in space, can you?" John sung cheerfully, still not meeting the blond's eyes. "Why? Are you mad that you can't get to your Gmail, Dave?"

Dave sighed, rolling his ruby eyes behind his opaque shades. "Maybe."

This caused the raven to chuckle as he replied to someone on YouTube. Dave hovered over John's shoulder in suspicion...or so he said. I bet he was just interested. Though, you can't deny the cool kid, can ya? He he he.

John was replying to someone called cataclysmicAstatine. Dave had asked him to let him see the whole conversation to know the situation. Pfft. Yea right. Anyways~...

cataclysmicAstatine-  
1'M r4Th3R cOnFuS3d On ThIs ApPaR3nTlY 'nOn-BrOnY' vOcAl AnD aCoUsTiC fAnSoNg PaRoDy

John Egbert-  
i know right?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
hUh? JoHn?

John Egbert-  
who else?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
uH w3Ll I dIdN't 3Xp3Ct YoU tO b3 On YoUtUb3

John Egbert-  
why not?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
jUsT cUz 4NyW4yS hOw'D yOu G3t H3r3 JoHn?

John Egbert-  
karkat said he found out something extremely irritating about us 'pink flesh monkeys' again

KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS-  
SHUT THE FUCK UP EGBERT

John Egbert-  
this is my life ca

cataclysmicAstatine-  
Uh I tHiNk W3 aLl KnOw Th4T jOhN

And, that comment left a bunch of likes-over 500- making Dave smirk. Though, he was also confused. Hadn't everyone on Earth died when those meteors hit? Ugh, so confusing.

John Egbert-  
how do you know that?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
yOu R34lLy DoN't KnOw Do YoU?

John Egbert-  
nope

cataclysmicAstatine-  
hOw 3CaXtLy Do YoU hAvE tH4t Us3Rn4M3 aNd NoT kNoW?

John Egbert-  
i dunno i just put in my name for the username. it takes too long to think one up.

cataclysmicAstatine-  
uH 4m 1 Th3 OnLy On3 WhO jUsT r34D tH4t?

_~We'll go through the chatlog pages 'Till we know just what (the fuck) is up~_

John Egbert-  
apparently not cause i'm still here ha ha  
anyways why should i know  
it's my name  
do i need a reason?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
oK tH3n  
4nD nO bUt  
iT's 4 LoNg 4Ss ExPlAiNaTiOn JoHn  
bUt B4s1C4lLy It'S 4 lOt Of InCoH3r3Nt ScR34m1Ng 4Nd CrY1nG

John Egbert-  
sounds bad?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
1 gU3sS sO bUt 1T wOuLdN't B3 tOo B4d If Th3 OoPs N3v3Rm1Nd FoRg3T tH4t

John was confused now as well. What? Would something the person said create a time paradox or some fucked up shit? If so, leave it to Dave to fix it, I mean come on.

-IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE-

The ravenette shouldn't really-like- doom Homestuck to a shitty plot twist or something by telling the so called 'John Egbert' about their adventures. That would be really bad. REALLY FUCKING BAD.

The irony was that the comic character's name was a modified version of the ravenette's. Her name was Jenn Egbert, yes, two n's in her name. She was suggesting ideas to the creator in strong hopes of some of her ideas get into the comic. But alas, her name is just switched.

Humming to herself, she sees her best friend on Pesterchum. Oh, perfect! Dani's on! Finally, where the heck has that little devil been? Cheerfully smiling, Jenn clicks on her Pesterchum account on the computer and familiar white box pops up, filled with the red text that the ravenette loves so much.

**(totallyaGodsheiress started pestering energeticBiologist at 14:09)**

**TG: yo  
TG: jenn where are you  
TG: oh god damn it  
TG: you arent at the motherfucking bake world again are you  
EB: aw what hell no!  
TG: why hello to you too  
EB: it's your fault dani  
TG: my ass  
TG: anyway  
TG: i see youve been pestering me  
TG: for like a week  
TG: ive only been gone for three motherfucking days  
EB: nice try smart ass  
EB: you've been gone at least 6 days  
TG: what  
TG: its not my fault sis wanted to take me to fucking disneyland for my birthday  
EB: i didn't say it was dani  
TG: but you just did  
EB: no you did  
TG: ha in your dreams that id ever say something**

Jenn chuckles at the mention of the other's confounded irony before hearing her step-brother's voice downstairs.

"Jenny! I'm home, and I brought the movie you wanted!" Jenn practically bounds from her leather chair, but not before saying bye to Dani.

**EB: hey dani  
****EB: jack just got back home with stuff for movie night  
****EB: i saw a movie yesterday  
****EB: i can't believe i found it  
****TG: oh god  
TG: please dont tell me its conair **  
**EB: what?**  
**EB: nick cage is awesome!**  
**TG: i swear to god youre worse than that john kid in whatever that comic was**  
**EB: it's called homestuck you douche now bye**  
**TG: talk again jenn**

**(totallyaGodsheiress ceased pestering energeticBiologist at 15:09) **

Jenn then bounces from her seat and skips downstairs to see her bright green eyed step-brother smiling giddily holding a RedBox disc box. Jenn chuckles and takes it from Jack, twirling about.

"Jenn! Calm down, you don't want to break anything again do you?" Her father asks. Let's just say that Jenn could get really hyper and break things. A LOT.

She nervously laughs, sliding the disc into the PlayStation 3 connected to the TV. "Yea, sorry, Dad. I'll try not to break anything else." Jenn said, glancing over at the broken lamp in the corner guiltily.

Oh dear...Let's hope Jack didn't get any cotton candy-"Hey Jenn! Guess what I got?" Jack smiles his bubbly bright smile as he takes out two bags of two FAMILIAR colors.

"Cotton candy!" Shit. Really, really bad idea Jack. "Oh thank you thank you thank you! You're the bestest brother a girl could ever have!" Jack ruffles the younger and shorter's hair.

"Yea, when they love cotton candy that is."

Jenn smiles up at him, giggling. "Yea, guess so. Oh, the movie's starting! Come on, come on, come on, you have to watch it with me!" Jenn plops down on the couch and Jack sits down next to her, not knowing the ending.

-2 HOURS LATER-

"How do I live~ without you~?" Jenn sings out cheerfully as Jack groans for the umpteenth time in displeasure.

"Oh my Lord, will you shut up already! The movie's already over!" The supposed command turned out to be a whine. Jenn pouted for a flash second before hitting replay with a grin.

"Now we can watch it again~~~!" Jenn manically chuckles as Jack screams into a pillow on the couch. "What, Nick Cage is so cool! I could watch this all day!"

"Well, I can't! This movie is so 5 years ago!" Jack quickly gets up and stomps off to the kitchen. Pouting, Jenn takes the movie out and up to her bedroom. Huh, the screen was on YouTube.

Sitting down after placing the movie case with the movie inside it down on her nightstand, she sits in her leather chair again to answer the person again. Her eyebrows furrowed. That was something the blond would say...

John Egbert-  
dave said that isn't fucking fair to not let me know this shit  
i mean shouldn't you tell me?  
can i not be trusted?

cataclysmicAstatine-  
nO 1 d1Dn'T s4Y tH4t  
1T's JuSt CoMpL1c4T3d JoHn  
Th3 L34sT 1 c4N s4Y 4bOuT 1t 1S tH4t 3V3rYoN3 tH1nKs YoU'r3 4 HoMo

John Egbert-  
oh great you just gave dave an idea  
thanks to everyone who calls me that!  


cataclysmicAstatine-  
nO pRoBl3M  
t3Ll D4v3 I s41D h1 JoHn! XD

John Egbert-  
ugh whatever  
i'm not homo! i really ain't!

cataclysmicAstatine-  
1 kNoW tH4t  
bUt 4Pp4R3nTlY No On3 3Ls3 Do3S

_~When I was a little kiddy, (I had a really rough time) a meteor shower over took my city_ _I traveled to another plane, _  
_A planet filled with (lovely colors) Wind and Shade~_

Jenn chuckles at the thought of the many fan fictions that she wrote based off of Dave and Jade, alongside John and Rose. It was rather funny because she shipped herself with her best friend, Ross Lalonde. It's not bad to ship yourself is it?

Suddenly, Jenn becomes really tired, but she doesn't pout or use 5-hour-energy. No, she is actually happy to go to sleep. That's where she gets her ideas for her fan fictions! Also, she dreams of Prospit and Derse, and Dave being there with his ruby red eyes, and Rose being her little intelligent self, writing in her books.

As her baby blue eyes droop shut, a small voice in her head says, _**Welcome back, Witch of Blood. Which will you visit today?**_Smiling to herself, she mentally answers back,

_Well, there's no other reason today to fly about Prospit, so I guess Derse today, voice._

**_Well, of course, Witch. Because I am simply the most excellent host._**

* * *

Ha ha. A bit long but...I'm dumb.


End file.
